107 Days and Counting: In-law Update

I thought it might be time for an in-law update. As you may or may not recall, my husband’s parents moved in to our guest room at the beginning of December due to an unfortunate circumstance.

The overly complicated politics involved in their ability to get a new home have been dragging on interminably, so the living arrangement that we all thought would surely be over by spring is still very much in place.

We are now 107 days in and here is what I know.

We had to throw out the mini-pickles that took up residence in our refrigerator early on. No one seemed to be eating them and the concept of tiny pickles in a pudding cup style container, in general, was a bit unsettling to me.

Despite arriving at our house with an entire case of Cheerios, it would appear my in-laws don’t actually eat Cheerios. In four months, we are down from the original 12 boxes to 11.

Burglars don’t knock, a fact we learned after my father-in-law arrived home after midnight a few times sans house key. My husband has an uncanny ability to awake, roll out of bed, grab a flashlight and a baseball bat, and be in the hallway in less than 5 seconds. Fortunately his ninja skills were not required.

It is difficult enough to coordinate three people’s schedules. It is so much more difficult to coordinate five people’s schedules.

The house feels like it’s in a constant state of disarray. I’m not by any means implying that my in-laws are messy people. But accommodating two more adults in one house means there is just plain more stuff.

For example, the stuff that used to be neatly stored in the guest room closet is heaped in the upstairs hallway, so that my in-laws could hang their clothes.

There is a cable running from my stepson’s room down the hall, balanced over top of the bathroom door frame and down the other side to reach into the guest room giving my in-laws their own TV.

There are reading glasses everywhere.

My stepson’s sink counter and cabinet underneath are filled with toiletries and hair styling tools that are not his.

And someone keeps oiling the non-stick skillet, though no one will admit to it. I keep finding it in the cupboard with beads of oil on it and then I have to wash it again before I can use it.

Which brings me to another thing I’ve learned about having house guests for an extended period of time: It means there are more people saying, “not me.” I have a whole new appreciation for the Not Me ghost in Family Circus comics. I think he’s moved into our home as well.

There are some good things, too.

I’m not the only girl in the house anymore, so I fair better in family votes.

My in-laws share in the cooking duties. On days when I commute to New York, not only have they cooked and fed my family, they have saved a plate for me in the oven. Rather than arriving home late at night and having to figure out what to make, I get to just sit down and eat. That feeling is priceless.

So, that’s what we’ve been up to. Wish them luck that my in-laws’ situation will be resolved soon. They really miss having their own space (not to mention all their stuff which is still in storage).

Affirmations

I used to think affirmations were hokey. It always made me think of people trying to be tough in business. I don’t know why, but that’s what my mind always made it about.

Last year, Jenn Gibson at Kind Over Matter collected sets of affirmations from several wonderful women and offered them as free downloads on her site.

With options like “Today may I embrace whimsy” and "Today may I let my intuition guide me," I could really get on board with affirmations.

I printed them out and taped them to the wall in my closet where I could see them every day while getting dressed. I even added a few little stickies to mark which ones I want to focus on at the moment.

I don’t change affirmations daily. I tend to hang on to them for a week or so until I feel ready for something different.

Last week Erin talked about affirmations on her blog, following The Stepmom's Toolbox Radio Show where the topic was raised. Erin and crew decided to start The 30 Day Affirmation Challenge to see how daily affirmations help other stepmoms.

One of Erin's opening examples made me laugh: "I will recognize that I may be the most mature one in the stepfamily." We probably all have days like that, right?

Until Erin’s post, I never really thought about using affirmations in relation to my role as a stepmom. The idea intrigues me, so I think I’ll give it a try in my usual weekly style.

This week, my stepmom affirmation is ripped right from the Kind Over Matter set. Today may I breath and let it pass.

It's been a trying week on my soul as I've asked for help around the house and tried to police the chore board. I just don't want to do that. In fact, as of today I am letting the "not mine" chores stack up to save my own sanity.

I'm sure all of us in this house feel like we are doing a lot. Just because I prefer my living space to be organized doesn't mean it has to be everyone else's priority. Furthermore, I reserve the right to not be traffic cop.

If it doesn't bother anyone else that couch space is dwindling because of laptops, power cords, and pillows in disarray, I will do my best to breathe and let it pass. Then I will flop contentedly into my corner reading chair where nothing stands in the way of my resting.