Happy Post - Perfect Purple Edition

As you probably know, I’ve been taking some time each Friday to reflect on what is making me happy. It’s great to focus on what is going right since we sometimes get bogged down in what is going wrong.

Yesterday was my birthday, so it only makes sense that today’s happy post show exactly what made my day so happy.

Because I can do whatever I want for my birthday, I took the day off work and went for a pedicure, shopped my local garden center for this season’s plants, dyed my hair a funky color, and had a fabulous homemade dinner.

At the garden shop, I had two goals in mind: creating a flowery mound in my front yard and planting some fresh vegetables and herbs in my backyard garden. Here is my bounty.

Flowers, veggies, and herbs ready to be planted

Over breakfast, my husband and mother-in-law asked what I wanted for my birthday dinner. My reply was simple. Chocolate cake with chocolate icing. They said, “Definitely cake! What do you want for dinner?” My reply was the same. I’m unclear as to why this was confusing. :)

We decided on grilled steaks, asparagus with hollandaise sauce, and spinach salad with apples and grapes. It was all delicious, by the way. Plus, I didn’t have to cook or clean up. Woohoo!

As for cake, it was the perfect opportunity to use the butterfly cake pan my friend gave me for Christmas. If you ask me, it’s the most awesomest cake ever! Alongside the cake we had fresh strawberries and smoothies. Yum!

The most awesomest birthday cake ever!

But let’s get to the hair. I know a lot of you requested pictures.  Back in March, I asked if a grown-up can have pink hair.  Everyone who commented here, on WorkingMother.com, and on Twitter, was hugely supportive, so I decided that I would go for it on my birthday (and I didn't even chicken out!).

First let me explain that I scheduled the appointment thinking I would get a pink stripe. When I got to the salon, I looked through a few books to get ideas for what shade to use and where it should go.

I found a gorgeous shade of purply pink, so the hairdresser said she would mix purple and pink together. She went a little heavy on the purple because she was worried about giving me too bright of a color since I’ve never dyed my hair an unconventional color before.

She dyed a few well placed streaks on the underneath layers, which means when my hair is down, you may catch a glimpse of purple, but you may not. If I pull the top little bit of hair back, you see the purple streaks. I think the placement is perfect.

Without further ado, here are some photos. What do you think?

My purple streaks

Close-up courtesy of my stepson

I guess we will find out if a grown-up/stepmom can have purple hair.  So far it's only been seen in my house.

As it turns out, purple hair was perfectly aligned with the unintentional theme in my gifts.

My in-laws gave me a recipe book holder and a purple dress, my stepson gave me some beautiful purple flowers, and my husband gave me a fabulous new point-and-shoot camera in a lovely purply pink. Too perfect!

Purple was an unintentional theme for the gifts I received

So those are the things making me happy today. What is making you happy?

Me Without Apologies

Today is my 33rd birthday. I love my birthday, not because of presents or attention (not that those hurt), but because it is the one day a year I feel absolutely guilt free about how I spend my time. It is the ultimate day to be me, without apologies.

Being my genuine, authentic self has been forefront in my mind in the last few years. I'm learning not to care what others may think. I'm learning that sometimes I think people think worse of me than they actually do. In the past I've let that fear dictate my actions, but over the past few years I've tried to let all of those thoughts go.

It's not easy. I still get caught up in worry and fear. I believe, though, that being genuine is worth it. Only by doing so can I be me without apologies everyday.

So what's on my agenda today? First, it was to take a self-portrait. I took the one you see here in my backyard this morning.

Next up, pedicure followed by shopping for my garden stuff (veggies! flowers! herbs!). This afternoon I'll be at the hairdresser getting my pink stripe. Something tells me another birthday self-portrait will be coming.

The universe must have known it was my birthday because we got a call this morning that my stepson's baseball practice scheduled for tonight has been canceled. Yay! That means we can all hang out and have fun tonight.

My husband is going to grill steaks and make smoothies. My mother-in-law is going to make one of my favorite salads and a chocolate cake. (Chocolate cake with chocolate icing was my first request upon being asked what I wanted for my birthday dinner. Actually it was my second and third requests, too.)

My mother-in-law said, "So we'll make the cake. Do you have a cake pan?"

Oh yes. I have a cake a pan. A glorious butterfly shaped cake pan that my beautiful friend Alina gave me for Christmas.

There will be chocolate butterfly cake. Awesome!

In the words of Big & Rich, "Today is even better than yesterday. Everything is going my way. I'm living in the big time."

Too Young to Have a Kid So Big

I learned a big lesson about myself last week when it comes to taking things personally. I’ve spent my entire life being mistaken as younger than I am. I used to hate it when adults would say, “you’ll appreciate it someday.” As a kid, “someday” doesn’t exist. You just want to grow up now.

And now I am grown up. I’ll be 33 in just a few short weeks and I still get mistaken for being 10 years younger. I know, I know- what a great problem to have. Don’t get me wrong. I am happy with the way I look and I’m sure I’ll continue to appreciate it “someday.”

The thing is I’m at a time in my life where I’m supposed to be somewhat of an authority. You know, look like I’ve been working for a while, act like a parent, etc. I think I’m good at my job and I do my best to be a good stepmom, but I see how some people look at me and I assume they are thinking, “she’s too young.”

As if to confirm my suspicions, a lot of people I’ve encountered lately have commented that I look too young to have a 12-year-old kid. I get stuck in this awkward, “um, thanks” while I try to explain (or not) that he’s my stepson or that I’m older than I look.

In fact, this just happened last week. My stepson and I had dentist appointments and while I was in the dentist’s chair, I heard the dental hygienist in my stepson’s room say, “his mom is right over there.”

Then the dentist came in to give me his assessment of my stepson’s teeth. The first thing he said to me was, “oh, you’re his mom? You don’t look old enough to have a son that big.”

My mind went to its usual place of “What? Are you accusing me of birthing a baby when I was in high school?” Of course, I didn’t say that. I went into my usual stuttering answer (which probably doesn’t help the whole authority figure thing).

Later when I relayed the story to my husband saying I never know how to respond in that situation, I broke out laughing. I couldn’t help it. All of a sudden when I was telling him about it, I realized I was blowing things way out of proportion. Those people are probably just trying to be nice. The appropriate response would be a simple “thank you!” That’s it. No apologies or explanations necessary.

My whole panic is really just my stuff getting in the way. And by “stuff” I mean insecurities. It really is time for me to let go of my stuff and accept these comments as compliments.

Affirmations #4: Being Genuine

"Don't take it personally."

Oh, that affirmation last week was a good one. I realized how many things I take personally in my day-to-day life. (Hint: a lot!) One such story coming later this week. Stay tuned.

On a few occasions last week I was able to recognize where I was about to take something personally and was able to change my thought process to instead consider other possible meanings.

In other instances where I wasn't as lucky to catch myself in the act of taking things personally, I was able to reflect later on what happened and how I could respond in the future.

That's a big lesson, don't you think?

This week I feel like I need to focus on another aspect of myself:

I am genuine. My actions and behavior reflect my true self.

I've had something of an identity crisis for the last, oh, 30+ years. I am a people pleaser who has spent most of my life trying to keep (or make) other people happy.

What I'm learning is this: I need to be true to myself in order to best serve those around me. I can't help others effectively if I am trying to be something that doesn't fit.

So this week out with the people pleasing, in with authenticity! Only by fulfilling my core values can I help others fulfill theirs.

What will you focus on this week?

Spring Style

Now that Spring is officially here and we seem to have left the blizzards behind us (I hope!), my energy is stirring. Creativity is blossoming during my ever-evolving quest to decide who I am and how to present myself to the world.

Today it’s through a super comfy-artsy-whimsical outfit. I treated myself to a new scarf yesterday (ok… two scarves) to cheer up my same ol’ same ol’ clothes.

I’m defying the gray skies that threaten to rain throughout the afternoon with my own Spring flowers.

How is Spring affecting your style?

Ancestral Origins

Last Wednesday was St. Patrick’s Day, which usually can be relied on for at least one person asking, “Are you Irish?”

My confusion in answering first begins with the tremendous localness of my ancestors. My grandmother on my dad’s side has done extensive genealogy research on our family and as far back as she has traced, most of my ancestors were born right here in the United States.

In the 1780s, one of my ancestors was born in Ireland before coming to America and marrying. That’s it. Just one. Everyone else in that genealogical study was born here, some even fighting in the Revolutionary War.

For those, like me, not so great with remembering historic dates, that war began in 1775 and ended in 1783. That’s a long time to have been in this relatively new country.

On my mom’s side of the family, we have no history with which to answer this question. She was adopted when she was a baby and we don’t know her background at all.

Disconcerting? Yep.

If I have to answer the origins question, I guess my answer is that I’m pretty much plain American with the tiniest percentage of Irish and a whole lot of mystery.